Mohamed Al-Fayed

Egyptian businessman and Harrods owner, Mohamed Al-Fayed has said that he wants to be president of an independent Scotland.

Al-Fayed, who owns a 65,000 acre Highland estate, is hoping that Scotland will go to a referendum and vote for independence, and he has urged  his ‘fellow Scots’ to denounce the monarchy and become an independent, self governing nation.

But the Egyptian is not a big fan of Scotland’s current leader, Alex Salmond. He was quoted saying,

“When you Scots have your independence, I’m ready to be your president.

“You have been living in a coma for too long.

“Whatever help is needed for Scotland to regain its independence, I will provide it. I have lived in England for 40 years but now the home that I want is Scotland.”

“It is time for you to wake up and detach yourself from the English and their terrible politicians. But I don’t want this Alex Salmond. I asked to meet him but he refused. Salmond would be better off fishing for salmon than being a politician. He is a dickhead.”

A spokesperson for the SNP leader did admit that Mr. Al-Fayed requested a meeting with Alex Salmond to talk about a potential donation, but the request was declined, adding that “no disrespect was intended”.

If Scotland did leave the United Kingdom, then Al-Fayed said that he plans to buy Balmoral Castle and turn it into a museum. But, for now, it is now the businessmans intention to erect a statue in honour of Scota, an Egyptian princess who is said to have founded Scotland some 3,600 years ago.

Al-Fayed said, “You Scots are originally Egyptians. Like Scota, I travelled north and I found the Balnagown estate. I will erect a statue of her to honour the links between Scotland and Egypt.”

However, unfortunately for Mohamed Al-Fayed, historian Richard Oram, from the University of Stirling, has said that the myth connecting the two countries was “rubbish”.

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Scota (left) with Goídel Glas voyaging from Egypt, as depicted in a 15th century manuscript of the Scotichronicon of Walter Bower; in this version Scota and Goídel Glas (Latinized as Gaythelos) are wife and husband.

Tradition has it that the legend starts back in ancient Egypt, where a pharaoh’s daughter, called Scota, and two Greek princes formed a group which was very troublesome and they were banished because traditionally, Scota and her group had a reputation everywhere they went of being very troublesome and antagonistic.

According to legend the pharaoh’s daughter and her group, who became known as the Scots, ended up in Iberia, now modern day Spain, where they settled, consolidated, and built themselves up. However, in Iberia things were no different, and it is said that they frequently fought with the Moorish Spanish over possession of the land, and these battles would end in bloodshed. Scota’s group got together and eventually decided that it would be for the best that they left Iberia and look for new lands to live in. They had heard of this land which was very fertile, and had some very clever farmers and people. So Scota and her family headed north and landed in Ireland.

Back then the people of this island were quite mild, and were brilliant farmers. However, the Scots reputation of being so troublesome, so mischievous, and so disruptive preceded them, and they were banned from Ireland. So they headed east to the west coast of Scotland where they made a nuisance of themselves amongst the Picts, the natives of Scotland, but they still settled there, and it is said that from this settling group known as the Scots is where the country of Scotland got it’s name from.

However, this story is pure legend.

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